“I love him, dear Lord. Please watch over him tonight.”

For those of you that have not seen “It’s A Wonderful Life,” stop reading and go watch it and get some culture. 😆 I promise, it’s worth it. Especially for the believers, out there.

It’s a time honored classic for good reason. It’s a great story and the cinematography for the time (1946) and story-writing was fantastic. It’s in black-and-white, but, I’m sure if you do some digging, you might be able to find the colorized version. 

For the rest of us, can we talk about how much of a badass Mary Bailey was? 

This woman stood by her man (cue, Tammy Wynette), unfaltering, unwavering, and unafraid because she knew he was better of a person than he gave himself credit for. 

Let’s review. (Newbies, pay attention.)

George was kind of hard to love. Okay, he was a pain in the ass. And while not entirely his fault, his approach to life is what made everything such a damn, unnecessary challenge. Without that, though, I guess, we may not have a story here.

See, George foolishly placed his worth in the dreams, and subsequent crashing of those dreams, he had since he was a kid. Not that people shouldn’t have dreams; but, it’s a fine line between being bummed they didn’t pan out and resenting that fact. A fine line that I’ve walked, myself.

Through a mishap that he was neither responsible for, or even knew about until it was too late, George falls into despair. Walking through the front door of his home on Christmas eve, a clearly bothered George begins to rant to his wife and kids about this annoyance or that. He barks at his oldest daughter for repeatedly practicing a song on the piano for a party that is to take place that evening. He gets butthurt when his oldest boy mentions that the neighbors have a new car, asking, “what’s the matter with our car? Isn’t it good enough for ya?”

He becomes angry when he learns that his youngest daughter caught a cold walking home from school and is recovering upstairs in bed, blaming the teacher for not making sure the kid had been properly bundled up. 

Meanwhile, Mary is calm, recognizing that her husband, like most people, has an off-day, or several off-days, from time to time. She takes it in stride and doesn’t let his negativity spill onto her.

Eventually, though, she sternly confronts him. 

“George, what’s wrong?”

“Wrong,” he replies. “Everything’s wrong…” and goes into a rant about the “miserable, old, drafty house” they live in, asking why they have to have “all these kids”, and ultimately, loses his temper in front of the whole family (minus the sick kid upstairs), kicking a table over, knocking the models he’d built off it, throwing shit, just having a regular ol’ temper tantrum. 

Once that’s over, he turns to his present family members and apologizes, even though it’s damn near too late. Nevertheless, he attempts it. But then, he takes an unnecessary (and idiotic) approach of being demanding, and almost hateful, in his insistence that his daughter keep practicing her song, leading her to cry. 

Mary gathers the children and asks why he must torture the children.

“Why don’t you…” and she never finishes her sentence before he leaves the house in despair.

Me? I’d have lost my shit.

You wanna throw things? Cool. Let’s throw things. 😏

But, I recognize this would have put the children in a horrible spot that they would have had to recover from. Sadly, I have to admit, I’ve done this with my ex-husband, with my kids nearby, witnessing me throw shit at him or across the room. I’m not proud of it, and it’s a wonder they don’t hate me for it. But, clearly, this is one reason why Mary Bailey is a better woman than I.

Anyway.

Rather than perpetuating his acts of rage, she simply tells him, in not so many words, to just cool his shit and not bring the kids into whatever issue he’s having. And then…

George leaves. 

She doesn’t stop him. She doesn’t get angry. Rather, despite her certain worry about the man she loves, she lets him go. 

She heads for the phone to reach out to George’s business partner, uncle Billy, in an effort to find out just what exactly is going on. Her children gather around her.

“Is Daddy in trouble?”

“Yes, Pete.”

“Shall I pray for him?”

“Yes, Janie, pray very hard.”

“Me, too?”
“You, too, Tommy!”

It’s evident that Mary has instilled in her family the importance and the power of prayer, uttering the prayer quoted upon opening this entry, herself. Again, she didn’t stop him. She simply knew that he was going to do whatever he was going to do and there was no changing his mind. Her best weapon was to pray.

Another instance of Mary Bailey being a better woman than I.

I would have (and actually have) trailed my husband, yelling to get back inside so we can resolve whatever issue. 

It took a long time and a lot of poorly used energy over the years to realize that Mary’s approach is probably better. Depending on the circumstances, anyway.

The next 10 to 15 minutes or so shows George witnessing a world in which he didn’t exist. Though very confused, he watches as the world he knew simply fails to be. The lives of people he knew and loved completely upended by his lack of life. 

See, as I mentioned before, George foolishly placed his value in the dreams he so desperately wanted to achieve but was never able to. He wanted to go to college, see the world, and build things like bridges and skyscrapers. He was determined to get out of Bedford Falls and never return, with the exception of seeing his family (pre- Mary and children). Obviously, that didn’t happen, as he and Mary fell in love, got married, and had a family. And while George didn’t regret this decision, he was hung up still on the fact that it wasn’t part of his original plan.

To make matters more complicated, after the death of his father, George was forced to take over the family business. A business he wanted no part of. He admired and praised his father for what he was doing but, for George, well, it just wasn’t his cup of tea. However, in order to keep the business going, and out of the clutches of the rich, mean, miserable old fucker, Mr. Potter, George found himself unwittingly “stuck” to run the Building and Loan. 

What George didn’t realize was that he was a hero. He caused the townspeople to see the good in humanity, that good people exist, despite all the Mr. Potter’s of the world.

Thanks to George, many people had homes to go home to. Nice homes instead of shanty-towns. Thanks to George, people had a reason to pay good deeds forward to others. Thanks to George, the darkness in the world was overshadowed by the light taking care of your fellow man.

Mary knew this. She KNEW.

Once George’s supernatural trip is through, and he cries out to God, “I wanna live again,” having ultimately been broken all the way down by the revelation of his brother’s would-be death and his wife and kids not being his wife and kids, his awakening begins. He realizes that it really is a wonderful life, and that he’s been blessed in so many ways. None of which are truly undeserving. 

Back at home, he greets his children with a newfound hope and joy. Unable to contain his gratitude that he still has his kids, he hugs them and kisses them, taking it all in.

Then, Mary bursts through the front door, ecstatic to see her husband who is just as ecstatic to see her.

“Mary, you have no idea what I’ve been through!”

“You have no idea what’s happened!”

She excitedly leads her husband to the table at which she’d been wrapping gifts and clears it of paper and decorations, standing him in front of the Christmas tree.

“It’s a miracle, George! It’s a miracle!”

She runs back to the door and greets uncle Billy who is carrying a LOAD of cash.

George, being in the “loan” business, was on the brink of potentially going to prison for misappropriation of funds. The mishap, I mentioned before. Even though the money was lost while in the possession of uncle Billy, while at the bank to deposit the cash, it was Mr. Potter who stole it, unbeknownst to himself, and uncle Billy, until it was too late. 

Potter never owned up to it.

He wanted to see George fail. Doing so was the only way the family business would crumble, thus allowing Potter to get his greedy mitts on it and shuddering it altogether.

But, Mary…

Being the proactive wife she is, recognizing the need to help her husband, she jumps in, unafraid, to find out what the hell is going on and subsequently, finds a way to solve the problem. 

Girl went door to door, all over town, telling others that George was in trouble and that he needed to raise a hefty sum of money, like, now (NOW), in order to avoid a huge downfall. 

Without batting an eye or asking questions, people gave. Members of the town filled the Bailey home bringing money they’d saved for one reason or another or simply giving what they could.

All because Mary Bailey believed in her husband, his goodness, his abilities, and the positive impact he made on the lives of so many. 

She believed in him when he couldn’t. 

That, my friends, is one example of love; the kind that soars high in the list of what it means to love your partner. You both give 100%, of course. But, sometimes, you have to pick up that 50, 60, or even 80% when your partner is struggling and can’t find their way.

At the end of the film, the angel that helped George, left a gift. Clarence’s favorite book that he carried with him everywhere. In the front of it, he wrote a message to George.

“…no man is a failure that has friends.”

And no one is a failure with a Mary Bailey by their side, either, in my opinion.

May we all be worthy of having a Mary Bailey in our lives and by our side, to support us, speak light and life into us, and lift us up when we struggle to do so, ourselves.